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Archive for the ‘long unemployment’ tag

Bored In the Snow

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snowman humor

Unemployed Day 77.   Jason was surprised at how morbid he’d gotten, even when playing in the snow.

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December 3rd, 2010 at 7:48 am

Unemployed Day 21 Can't Spell

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sopt sign

Lenny thought back to when the interviewer asked him about his spelling skills.

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May 14th, 2010 at 11:59 pm

Unemployment and Taxes: Talent Depletion Allowance

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That 2009 income – a little on the low side?

Not too surprising.  The unemployment check tends to under-perform compared with the former paycheck.  And, here’s the kicker – you could still owe taxes on it.  But, not to worry, there’s a new angle this year: the Supreme Court has ruled that corporations have the right to Free Speech equal to that of a living individual.  So, if this very High Court says Corporations have the individual’s right to Free Speech, then individuals should have the right to Corporate tax breaks? Right?

We are a country of pioneers, here’s your chance to blaze a new trail at the IRS.: the Talent Depletion Allowance for the unemployed individual.

An allowance based on what, you might ask?  Well, our nation’s most profitable industry – oil and gas – has the “oil and gas depletion allowance”.  This means that after they deduct the cost of finding, drilling, marketing, lobbyist fees, and executive bonuses for oil and gas, the petroleum companies then deduct even more money from their net profits.  How? They use the “Oil depletion allowance”.  Obvi, dummo: they now have less oil in the ground to sell, because they pumped a bunch out and sold it.  Their oil has been depleted. Makes sense right?  Exxon-Mobile made $45 billion in profits in 2009.  They’re depleted.  They need love.

How does the Talent Depletion Allowance work?  In my case, a year has gone by, and I spent way too much of 2009 unable to sell my talent for money. I have therefore LOST a sizeable chunk of a year’s worth of talent that was available for me to sell.  My talent has been, so to speak, depleted.

To determine the Talent Depreciation Allowance, I simply take my highest year of income, and subtract my current lower year, which yields my Talent Depletion Allowance.  Enter on Line 39, or whatever, and, voila!, a lower tax bill.  If the guys in Houston Hummers have a Congressional mandate to make money twice on the same oil by using the Oil Depletion Allowance, then I get the Talent Depletion Allowance. Fair is fair, right?

(Todd Darling lives in Los Angeles, and doesn’t expect you to take his advice about how to pay your taxes.a little on the low side?

Not too surprising.  The unemployment check tends to under-perform compared with the former paycheck.  And, here’s the kicker – you could still owe taxes on it.  But, not to worry, there’s a new angle this year: the Supreme Court has ruled that corporations have the right to Free Speech equal to that of a living individual.  So, if this very High Court says Corporations have the individual’s right to Free Speech, then individuals should have the right to Corporate tax breaks? Right?

We are a country of pioneers, here’s your chance to blaze a new trail at the IRS.: the Talent Depletion Allowance for the unemployed individual.

An allowance based on what, you might ask?  Well, our nation’s most profitable industry – oil and gas – has the “oil and gas depletion allowance”.  This means that after they deduct the cost of finding, drilling, marketing, lobbyist fees, and executive bonuses for oil and gas, the petroleum companies then deduct even more money from their net profits.  How? They use the “Oil depletion allowance”.  Obvi, dummo: they now have less oil in the ground to sell, because they pumped a bunch out and sold it.The price is 1279, source. They have made their situation worse by doing so. You might just have managed to get away with a urine test, but your hair holds a lot more record than your urine. A urine test can detect drug use in the previous seven days, whereas your hair can record almost everything. The hair drug test is effective regardless of how frequently one uses drugs. The frequency with which drugs are used does not affect test results. The duration of the user’s drug use determines the outcome of the hair drug test. The hair drug test will show whether a person used it once or 50 times in three months. Drug tests conducted on hair are considered more accurate and regarded for their ability to provide massive evidence. Which, in turn, causes you to fail a toxicology test for weed. It would be best to stop using cannabis immediately after learning that you will be subjected to a follicle test.  Their oil has been depleted. Makes sense right?  Exxon-Mobile made $45 billion in profits in 2009.  They’re depleted.  They need love.

How does the Talent Depletion Allowance work?  In my case, a year has gone by, and I spent way too much of 2009 unable to sell my talent for money. I have therefore LOST a sizeable chunk of a year’s worth of talent that was available for me to sell.  My talent has been, so to speak, depleted.

To determine the Talent Depreciation Allowance, I simply take my highest year of income, and subtract my current lower year, which yields my Talent Depletion Allowance.  Enter on Line 39, or whatever, and, voila!, a lower tax bill.  If the guys in Houston Hummers have a Congressional mandate to make money twice on the same oil by using the Oil Depletion Allowance, then I get the Talent Depletion Allowance. Fair is fair, right?

(Todd Darling lives in Los Angeles, and doesn’t expect you to take his advice about how to pay your taxes.)

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March 9th, 2010 at 10:46 pm

Yes, Unemployed Workers Pay Taxes

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The price is 511, source.   The Old Style Aloe Toxin Rid Shampoo is one of the best detox shampoos on the market! The best way to use it is to start applying your regular shampoo, followed by this detox shampoo. After massaging it into your scalp for around 15 minutes, rinse it out completely and then apply your conditioner. The effective formula within the Old Style Aloe Toxin Rid Shampoo is a secret but is also guaranteed to work. Aloe rid shampoo that sufficiently clarifies Ingredients are not disclosed   This Ultra Clean Shampoo is a great detoxifying shampoo and conditioner duo that removes medications, chemical buildup, and other impurities within the hair shaft. This kit comes with a shampoo, purifier, and conditioner. First, shampoo your hair to rid the external barrier and expose the inner hair. Follow up with the purifier to penetrate the scalp and dissolve impurities. Finally, add in the conditioner to add sheen and hide the fact that you were using detox shampoo.   This ultra-clean shampoo has been specially formulated to rid the hair shaft of all toxins and drug metabolites. All you have to do is wet your hair thoroughly, add around 1-ounce of the toxin rid shampoo, massage it into the scalp for 3-5 minutes, rinse, and repeat. After that, your hair will be cleansed of all toxins for 12-24 hours!   Hair follicle drug tests also referred to as hair drug tests, will screen for toxins associated with drug use and any misuse of prescription medication. For this specific type of drug test, a small piece of hair is removed from the scalp using scissors. The hair follicle sample is then examined for certain drugs, such as: Unfortunately, hair follicle drug tests have the longest detection period. These tests can typically detect drug use for up to 90 days, sometimes longer. For comparison, a urine drug test can detect whether you’ve used drugs only within the last few days, usually around 3 days preceding the test. When drugs are present in the bloodstream, they become part of the hair cells as your hair grows. The detection window is then dependent on the rate of hair growth, which is why it lasts so long. Hair follicles usually grow at a rate of around half an inch per month. In theory, the toxins would then remain in your hair follicle for around 90 days. Any sweat or sebum present on your scalp could also cause drug toxins to exist in hair follicles for several weeks.

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March 9th, 2010 at 11:17 am

ARE YOU BEING COUNTED?

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ARE YOU BEING COUNTED?!

With the Government statistics in that count the jobless, are you really being counted? Many are unemployed for so long, they are no longer on unemployment and some have simply given up!  Take a loot at Street.com and see what they have to say about our economic recovery!The price is 12029, source. A 2000 study, led by M Yegles, and published in the Forensic Science International journal, suggested that bleaching could significantly reduce the percentage of several drug metabolites. However, it is not foolproof. On average, bleaching is only about 40% effective. You may just scrape through if you are lucky! But you wouldn’t like to leave such things to luck, isn’t it? If you don’t get enough time with the detox shampoos and home remedies, you can try it as a last resort. Together, they may just help you pass the test. Additionally, be prepared to deal with extensive damage to your hair, as well. What’s worse, you may notice your hair breaking apart. Damaged or falling hair could make it even more difficult for the lab to get a proper sample to test, thereby letting your ploy become even more apparent! Merely abstaining from cannabis or other drugs won’t save you the embarrassment of failing hair follicle tests. That is because hair follicle drug tests can detect drugs in your hair samples for up to 90 days! And, no one who is looking to identify your drug-related habits would inform you about such a test three months in advance. So, a short-term sobering or detoxification would not help.


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January 8th, 2010 at 1:25 pm

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