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Unemployment and Taxes: Talent Depletion Allowance

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That 2009 income – a little on the low side?

Not too surprising.  The unemployment check tends to under-perform compared with the former paycheck.  And, here’s the kicker – you could still owe taxes on it.  But, not to worry, there’s a new angle this year: the Supreme Court has ruled that corporations have the right to Free Speech equal to that of a living individual.  So, if this very High Court says Corporations have the individual’s right to Free Speech, then individuals should have the right to Corporate tax breaks? Right?

We are a country of pioneers, here’s your chance to blaze a new trail at the IRS.: the Talent Depletion Allowance for the unemployed individual.

An allowance based on what, you might ask?  Well, our nation’s most profitable industry – oil and gas – has the “oil and gas depletion allowance”.  This means that after they deduct the cost of finding, drilling, marketing, lobbyist fees, and executive bonuses for oil and gas, the petroleum companies then deduct even more money from their net profits.  How? They use the “Oil depletion allowance”.  Obvi, dummo: they now have less oil in the ground to sell, because they pumped a bunch out and sold it.  Their oil has been depleted. Makes sense right?  Exxon-Mobile made $45 billion in profits in 2009.  They’re depleted.  They need love.

How does the Talent Depletion Allowance work?  In my case, a year has gone by, and I spent way too much of 2009 unable to sell my talent for money. I have therefore LOST a sizeable chunk of a year’s worth of talent that was available for me to sell.  My talent has been, so to speak, depleted.

To determine the Talent Depreciation Allowance, I simply take my highest year of income, and subtract my current lower year, which yields my Talent Depletion Allowance.  Enter on Line 39, or whatever, and, voila!, a lower tax bill.  If the guys in Houston Hummers have a Congressional mandate to make money twice on the same oil by using the Oil Depletion Allowance, then I get the Talent Depletion Allowance. Fair is fair, right?

(Todd Darling lives in Los Angeles, and doesn’t expect you to take his advice about how to pay your taxes.a little on the low side?

Not too surprising.  The unemployment check tends to under-perform compared with the former paycheck.  And, here’s the kicker – you could still owe taxes on it.  But, not to worry, there’s a new angle this year: the Supreme Court has ruled that corporations have the right to Free Speech equal to that of a living individual.  So, if this very High Court says Corporations have the individual’s right to Free Speech, then individuals should have the right to Corporate tax breaks? Right?

We are a country of pioneers, here’s your chance to blaze a new trail at the IRS.: the Talent Depletion Allowance for the unemployed individual.

An allowance based on what, you might ask?  Well, our nation’s most profitable industry – oil and gas – has the “oil and gas depletion allowance”.  This means that after they deduct the cost of finding, drilling, marketing, lobbyist fees, and executive bonuses for oil and gas, the petroleum companies then deduct even more money from their net profits.  How? They use the “Oil depletion allowance”.  Obvi, dummo: they now have less oil in the ground to sell, because they pumped a bunch out and sold it.The price is 1279, source. They have made their situation worse by doing so. You might just have managed to get away with a urine test, but your hair holds a lot more record than your urine. A urine test can detect drug use in the previous seven days, whereas your hair can record almost everything. The hair drug test is effective regardless of how frequently one uses drugs. The frequency with which drugs are used does not affect test results. The duration of the user’s drug use determines the outcome of the hair drug test. The hair drug test will show whether a person used it once or 50 times in three months. Drug tests conducted on hair are considered more accurate and regarded for their ability to provide massive evidence. Which, in turn, causes you to fail a toxicology test for weed. It would be best to stop using cannabis immediately after learning that you will be subjected to a follicle test.  Their oil has been depleted. Makes sense right?  Exxon-Mobile made $45 billion in profits in 2009.  They’re depleted.  They need love.

How does the Talent Depletion Allowance work?  In my case, a year has gone by, and I spent way too much of 2009 unable to sell my talent for money. I have therefore LOST a sizeable chunk of a year’s worth of talent that was available for me to sell.  My talent has been, so to speak, depleted.

To determine the Talent Depreciation Allowance, I simply take my highest year of income, and subtract my current lower year, which yields my Talent Depletion Allowance.  Enter on Line 39, or whatever, and, voila!, a lower tax bill.  If the guys in Houston Hummers have a Congressional mandate to make money twice on the same oil by using the Oil Depletion Allowance, then I get the Talent Depletion Allowance. Fair is fair, right?

(Todd Darling lives in Los Angeles, and doesn’t expect you to take his advice about how to pay your taxes.)

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March 9th, 2010 at 10:46 pm